rowanberry: (summer)
This time last week we had a beautiful warm day, just right for Strawberry Fair. Today? It's raining buckets, the wind is trying to blow my sweet pea canes over, and we had to have the heating on this morning. I slept with a hot water bottle last night. Mind you, we had a proper summer last year so it's perfectly reasonable to assume there won't be another one until 2025. I'm wearing the dress I bought at the fair (with tights and a jumper) anyway. Summer in my mind.

I found one of the antique shops in Ely yesterday selling off old brassware for very little in a basket outside the shop. Picked up a lidless tankard, a little bowl, and a small vase from among the collection for putting houseplants in. I think we might go out this afternoon so I can get a few more - the ones I brought when I moved in are all doing nicely, but I want a few of the air purifying sort to have in the bedroom, and also one or two favourite indoor plants just because. I'm tempted to try a maidenhair fern again and see if I have more luck this time at keeping it alive...
rowanberry: (bedhair kitten)
Just the funeral to get through next week and then (hopefully), the big emotional rollercoaster of the last week will be behind me. I spent most of yesterday feeling... not subdued, exactly, but somehow low, like the weight of all those ups and downs of death, birth, and legal ordeals was sitting heavy and grey on my chest. Spent some time in the garden to ease it, cuddled Jasmine a lot, and made vegetarian schawarma for dinner to distract myself.

A belated New Moon Tarot reading (Motherpeace deck) laid out exactly what I would have known if I'd have time to listen to myself properly lately - the need for gathering myself and honouring emotions however deep, being caught currently in the process of relearning how to listen to/trust intuition above and before logic; the need for calming and repetitive work to prevent energy from turning into worry. We're in Oak Season now and I need to take the time to start focusing properly again.

Jasmine is so desperate to go outside in the sun and the wind, but she's not allowed for almost another week. Makes me feel so cruel, even though it's for her own safety.

Planting some bean seeds today since my runners aren't looking happy and I think they got too blasted by the winds too soon after coming out of the greenhouse. We tried the first of the radishes yesterday - always so much nicer when they're freshly picked than they are if they've languished in the shops for a time!

Today: cleaning, catching up on some journalling, gardening, making a tagine, and skyping my best friend tonight. Tomorrow: a trek to the job centre (they're being slow about moving me to one closer to my new address so I have to travel 2 hours in each direction for a weekly 10 minute appointment, sigh) and then some quality time with the family. The weekend is having a new fence built, working all Sunday, and then getting myself ready for Wales and the funeral at the start of next week. I'm looking forward to the next weekend already...
rowanberry: (not that sad)
Since my last entry I have turned a year older, visited Portsmouth for my birthday, continued trying to find a job and learn to drive, visited Rome for my best friend's birthday, and been moving house. Which simultaneously sounds like a lot of things and not as many things as I thought I had been doing. I've been a mix of good cheer and low-level anxiety for the past month or so, which I'm assuming is the combination of the moving process (cheer and anxiety), having to sign up for benefits (anxiety and frustration), and all the things I've been doing (mostly cheer).

Anyway, here are some updates on the things I care about most!

Jasmine is moving house with me next weekend! I'm very excited and really hope she settles into her new home quickly.

Books: Amnesty came out a couple of weeks ago, so of course I spent several days devouring that. It was excellent, everyone in it was absolutely hateful at least once, and I loved them all and was very happy with where the story finished and where all the characters ended up. A+++. Other things I've read lately are A Pocketful of Crows by Joanne M. Harris (which was beautiful and powerful and I really loved it), Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire (very atmospheric and quick to read), and Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi (took me a while to get into that one but I really liked the revolutionary fervour). I'm currently reading Madeline Miller's Circe which is nice but (as so often happens) I'm nowhere near as into it as I feel I should be after all the critical raving and recommendations. Pretty, though.

Plants: my tiny vegetable garden is sprouting! We bought a raised bed for the salad crops, and after only a week the radishes, beetroots, pak choi, spinach and salad lettuces are already poking their faces up (along with some companion marigolds in the corners to help keep slugs away). There is also a sweet pepper plant that seems very happy, and in separate pots I've got runner beans twining up their canes, two big courgette plants making small flowers already, some jolly tomatoes (and cherry tomatoes in a hanging basket), strawberries which look like they're going to thrive - one berry is already turning red - and fruit starting to come on a raspberry cane and a blackcurrant bush too. The only things which aren't doing so well are my cucumber plants (which I suspect are dead). The carrots haven't sprouted yet but I think they take a while longer to germinate. It's very exciting and I'm looking forward to jamming later this summer! The weather has been perfect for starting the garden off - some lovely hot days interspersed with cool nights and some rainy days. My herb garden is looking lush too, and I've spotted ant hills, lots of bees, and several butterflies in the wild garden!

Family are all well - my second niecephew is expected any day! (Officially expected on Thursday 23rd but.) Nephew #1 is hale and hearty and learning words (or at least sounds that translate as words) speedily. He's one of the quickest ways to brighten my day.

Health has been a bit up and down, which is the way of multiple chronic illnesses I suppose. I've got a referral to cardiology for the first of July, so fingers crossed they agree with me and my GP that it's worth investigating. I don't know whether they'll be able to do the testing here or if they'll need to refer me to the specialist in London, since it's not a commonly understood condition. In some ways I would prefer to be referred because a) specialist who researches the condition, and b) probably shorter waiting times than Cambridge! The attacks aren't entirely sticking to their pattern the last two months, which is annoying. Not that they are wildly off schedule, only slightly, but it's still irritating and makes life harder to navigate around them. Also, I don't know if my endometriosis is the cause of the cocktail of menstrual and related issues I've had the last two cycles, but I'm going to go ahead and blame it anyway. I need some use for the thing, right?

Writing: I've actually started writing something original! Which has got a plot and which I like! Don't hold your breath, I haven't had any spare time to work on it for weeks. But it's a thing which has started to exist and which I mean to continue helping to exist, and that's exciting. Learning to enjoy writing by and for myself again after a long stretch of co-writing and/or writing within a fandom of two people has been a long (and at times miserably draining and painful) process, but I'm pleased I stuck with it.

Theatre: we've got tickets to Rocky Horror in July and I'm planning costumes! Also to Hairspray in London next May, and I'm seeing the Les Mis concert performance in October too. Next desired tickets on my list are for the We Will Rock You tour later this year. I've been reigniting the old flame of my musical theatre obsession recently, and I'm not sorry.

That's quite enough from me. Maybe I'll remember to update again in the next month? I might even make a post about Portsmouth and Rome, but. No promises.

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Janie

January 2020

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