Earth & Tea

Just the funeral to get through next week and then (hopefully), the big emotional rollercoaster of the last week will be behind me. I spent most of yesterday feeling... not subdued, exactly, but somehow low, like the weight of all those ups and downs of death, birth, and legal ordeals was sitting heavy and grey on my chest. Spent some time in the garden to ease it, cuddled Jasmine a lot, and made vegetarian schawarma for dinner to distract myself.

A belated New Moon Tarot reading (Motherpeace deck) laid out exactly what I would have known if I'd have time to listen to myself properly lately - the need for gathering myself and honouring emotions however deep, being caught currently in the process of relearning how to listen to/trust intuition above and before logic; the need for calming and repetitive work to prevent energy from turning into worry. We're in Oak Season now and I need to take the time to start focusing properly again.

Jasmine is so desperate to go outside in the sun and the wind, but she's not allowed for almost another week. Makes me feel so cruel, even though it's for her own safety.

Planting some bean seeds today since my runners aren't looking happy and I think they got too blasted by the winds too soon after coming out of the greenhouse. We tried the first of the radishes yesterday - always so much nicer when they're freshly picked than they are if they've languished in the shops for a time!

Today: cleaning, catching up on some journalling, gardening, making a tagine, and skyping my best friend tonight. Tomorrow: a trek to the job centre (they're being slow about moving me to one closer to my new address so I have to travel 2 hours in each direction for a weekly 10 minute appointment, sigh) and then some quality time with the family. The weekend is having a new fence built, working all Sunday, and then getting myself ready for Wales and the funeral at the start of next week. I'm looking forward to the next weekend already...