(no subject)

A lot of old grief got dredged up last weekend, and the shadows are still hanging around like ugly curtains. Not sure how to handle them yet, since I can't afford a therapist just now. I feel like it's too early to jump straight back to medication even though it's tempting - at least I know it works now and when I feel the way I have done lately anything that works looks like a golden egg. Looking at the trees instead and trying to remember there's life hiding there where I can't see it, and apply the same belief to myself. Hard, though. This is my first winter without medication in years. It's bleaker than I'd like.