rowanberry: (Default)
Janie ([personal profile] rowanberry) wrote2019-01-31 09:14 pm

(no subject)

The cold is making the bones of my wrists and arms ache. Not sure if this is a new variation of the old Raynaulds, or just a Being Older thing. Or - more likely - hormones. On Monday I had the the fun of Chronic Pain Roulette again with a stabbing game of "is it a UTI or am I ovulating?!" I should know by now - it's always ovulation. And yet... every time I catch myself out wondering whether I need a doctor's appointment or not.

Feeling bleak today. Ice everywhere and the afternoon dragged on, bland and empty, and everything I tried to do just left me frustrated.

Talked through some of my disconnect with my counsellor this morning. There's a lot of floating going on in my brain, and I hadn't realised how much of that disconnected feeling might be anger - at other people's expectations, at the sense of loss and betrayal, at the feeling of invisibility. It was interesting. More work to be done there.